Poetry

so sobig is having a dig at my rig

no probs, mailscanner gonna throw me

a spanna to sort out my bug

now all i want to do is hug and jig!

I hear that your mailbox is full
With Klezzes and spam stuffed with bull.
With mailscanner it's better;
You can read every letter,
And still spend the night on the pull.

To make sure it's efficient,
An MTA proficient
Will use a queue,
And so should you -
Other methods are deficient.

When writing AV scanners
It's really just good manners
To output clear
What we should fear
And avoid pulling tricks list this^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^Hlong-winded banners.

UNIX filenames will have spaces
In all the most annoying places.
Even if your code must double
You know you need to take the trouble
Or in the end you'll have red faces.

Please pick delimeters with care
Use a char that cannot live there
If there is none
Choose a rare one
And when it's for real use a pair

While volumes of spam I had seeneth,

It really had quite reached its zenith,

MailScanner deployed,

I'm no longer annoyed,

Nor do I have to refinance my p**is.

Much email was sent to an Internet Man

Whose Mailscanner determined it was mostly spam

But quick in his mind and fast on his feet

He thought of that most humble of meats

And replied to them all with frying pans

to the boxes of IN and others unnamed

go the Devils of Spam, reckless, untamed

and Nematode warriors bound to the MIME

some parasitic and others benign

 

but waylayed and lo, their mission deterred

with Scanners of Mail properly interred

and the daemons of POP and Old 25

at the end of battle they stand and survive

 

and thick as flies the messages thrash

as their headers are flagged, "SPAMFILTERED" for trash

though, try as they might, when cut short in their flight

they cannot escape Mailscanner's sharp bite

 

So to Admins whose living depends upon mail

without MailScanning tools you will miserably fail

avoid the Devil and countless Nematode sprees

by installing MailScanner in your init.d